Friends, loved ones, and Vancouverans alike,

Now... THAT was a show. The show I speak of is the closing ceremony at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, both, or call my mother and ask her to tuck me into bed. Because, somehow I reverted mentally 20 years. I'm not exactly sure what they were thinking. Regardless, it certainly was Canadian, wasn't it!?

Let me note, I thought my humor was self-depracating. But, I can sincerely say that this ceremony outdid anything I'm capable of! Impressive! This mime pulled the fourth cauldron up in the center of the arena when it failed to rise on its own, in parody of the technical failure in the opening ceremony. What a tactful way to recover! And I loved the exploitation of Canadian stereotypes. Come on! Beaver and moose heads? Thank you! Giant maple leaf dancers? Love it. Lumberjacks? Have we gone too far yet?

Anyway, this show served its purpose as a way for Canadians to bring their faults to attention in a brave and shameless matter. Oh, did I say that out loud?

I did feel a little guilty when they had to have acts like Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette and Simple Plan play. I mean, not like they're terrible or anything.

Who are we kidding, they are terrible. But we appreciate their modesty and boringness all the same. Thanks, Canada. Where would we be without you? Who would we United Statesmen compare ourselves to?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the lavish performance designed by our nifty neighbors of the north.