Hey Dudes. Erin Go Bragh!

Legend has it that ol' St. Patty boy drove the snakes out of Ireland with his magic pipe. Thus!, folks all over this nation and the next choose to celebrate this ancient happening by taking back a few (or more) pints, wherever they can find one. But you know, to me, this does not sound like something to get inebriated about. Big whoop! I'd drive everyone off my block if they heard me playing the pipe, too. That's why I failed Recorder in 3rd grade.

So, instead of celebrating this holiday, I celebrated Monday's holiday: the Ides of March! In ancient Roman history, the Ides of March is best known as the date that Julius Caesar was murdered by the Roman Senate. Now, that is one WICKED reason to celebrate! And plus, for this holiday it is of the utmost appropriateness to consume our very favorite of all beverages in honor of Roman culture. Vino.

Story time!! For the past four days I've been living without any electricity. The storm last weekend totally bummed out a tree that's been chilling in front of my place for the past 20 years. The poor tree obviously couldn't do its thing any longer, and chose to land directly in front of my home, blocking crosswalks and almost hitting cars in the street. It took down one power line with it, and that power line belonged to me.

So, I came up with a list.

What to do when you don't have electricity for 4 days straight (in no particular order):
1. Perfect the art of origami
2. Learn to light a fire, Eagle Scout style, in your fireplace
3. Read a book (cliché, but when else do you have the time?)
4. Knit Grandma a sweater (you owe her an ugly one as payback for at least 6 style-less family holiday parties)
5. Meditate on how much better life is without Ryan Seacrest's voice coming through your television speakers
6. Organize old family photos by candlelight
7. Don't check your email (as if you could if you wanted, but consider it a blessing!)
8. Yoga (without the underlying hum of electricity running through your head)

How would you survive a four-day blackout?!

Peace out,
Wicked White

Friends, loved ones, and Vancouverans alike,

Now... THAT was a show. The show I speak of is the closing ceremony at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics. I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, both, or call my mother and ask her to tuck me into bed. Because, somehow I reverted mentally 20 years. I'm not exactly sure what they were thinking. Regardless, it certainly was Canadian, wasn't it!?

Let me note, I thought my humor was self-depracating. But, I can sincerely say that this ceremony outdid anything I'm capable of! Impressive! This mime pulled the fourth cauldron up in the center of the arena when it failed to rise on its own, in parody of the technical failure in the opening ceremony. What a tactful way to recover! And I loved the exploitation of Canadian stereotypes. Come on! Beaver and moose heads? Thank you! Giant maple leaf dancers? Love it. Lumberjacks? Have we gone too far yet?

Anyway, this show served its purpose as a way for Canadians to bring their faults to attention in a brave and shameless matter. Oh, did I say that out loud?

I did feel a little guilty when they had to have acts like Avril Lavigne, Alanis Morissette and Simple Plan play. I mean, not like they're terrible or anything.

Who are we kidding, they are terrible. But we appreciate their modesty and boringness all the same. Thanks, Canada. Where would we be without you? Who would we United Statesmen compare ourselves to?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on the lavish performance designed by our nifty neighbors of the north.